Saturday, October 28, 2006

Are single mothers the 'New American Family'?

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Are single mothers the 'New American Family'?


Last fall Stanford University Gender Scholar Peggy Drexler penned the highly-publicized book "Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men." This month Oxford Press released Wellesley College Women's Studies professor Rosanna Hertz's "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women Are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family."

Drexler portrays father-absent homes – particularly "single mother by choice" and lesbian homes – as being the best environments for raising boys. Hertz interviewed 65 single mothers and concluded that "intimacy between husbands and wives [is] obsolete as the critical familial bond." Whereas a family was once defined as two parents and their children, Hertz asserts that today the "core of family life is the mother and her children." Fathers aren't necessary – "only the availability of both sets of gametes [egg and sperm] is essential." In fact, Hertz explains, "what men offer today is obsolete."

Our children would beg to differ. Studies of children of divorce confirm their powerful desire to retain strong connections to their fathers. For example, an Arizona State University study of college-age children of divorce found that the overwhelming majority believed that after a divorce "living equal amounts of time with each parent is the best arrangement for children."

Men are often stereotyped as fearing commitment, and it is they who are usually blamed for the divorce revolution. However, it is mothers, not fathers, who initiate most divorces involving children. In some cases, these mothers have ample justification. In others, however, they simply don't want to make the compromises and do the hard work required in any relationship, and can't or won't recognize that their children need their fathers. In fact, according to research conducted by Joan Berlin Kelly, author of "Surviving the Break-up," 50 percent of divorced mothers claim to "see no value in the father's continued contact with his children after a divorce."

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Anonymous funny videos said...

Great blog on divorce, and custody.

Personally I think divorce is really a terrible thing, and couples should try to work out their differences. It's not all about you, it's all about serving the one that saved you.

Happy double oooh seven to you, and all your visitors.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Surviving the Break-up" is a great book. It is one that will help you heal.

Avoid the "Professionals" out to take care of themselves. My worst purchase was Bricklin and Eliot’s ‘Child Custody Strategies for Women’, is probably the same book as for men and a major disappointment: price is grossly out of balance with content; looks like they used old client files; no practical information; they are more interested in inoculating themselves and other professionals the court require you to use from law suit; the writing is very poor; little useable substance. Many books are available with much better information. This book is obviously self-published. I strongly recommend not buying it.

6:19 AM  
Blogger Pat said...

We are looking to publish stories of men whom have gone through a viscious custody case and came out okay.

We are scheduling interviews.

Please respond to

4:10 PM  

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