Are boys better off without fathers? - Glenn Sacks

Are boys better off without fathers?

Oh my God.

Excerpts:

Peggy Drexler's new book, "Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men," contends that father-absent homes -- particularly "single mother by choice" and lesbian homes -- are the best environments for boys.

While Drexler waxes poetic about fatherless parenting, she makes little attempt to explain why it results in bad outcomes for so many kids. Counterposed to the fathers she says boys don't need, Drexler holds up a wide collection of males -- "grandfathers, godfathers, uncles, family friends, coaches" -- who, she assures us, can "provide figures for horsing around, mentoring," etc. for the boys of female-headed households. She enthuses that these boys enjoy "more male figures in their lives than boys from traditional families."

Numerous studies show that the rates of the four major youth pathologies -- juvenile crime, teen pregnancy, teen drug abuse and school dropouts -- are tightly correlated with fatherlessness. For example, a 1998 study published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family showed that even after controlling for all major socioeconomic factors, including income, teens not living with their fathers were twice as likely to abuse drugs as those living in intact, two-parent married families. Likewise, according to findings presented to the American Sociological Association in 1998, after eliminating all socioeconomic differences, boys who grew up outside of intact marriages were still more than twice as likely to end up in jail as those in intact homes.

Parents are vital to kids

SPORTS - Battle Creek Enquirer

Ugh - just a little excerpt because after I read it I couldn't breathe for a second. It completely encapsulated how I felt when my mother left the first time though I suppose then I couldn't quite articulate that feeling:

I'll never understand those who can look into the face of their children particularly young kids and tell them they're leaving.

To me, they're simply saying "I love myself, more than I love you."

Please don't send me hate mail about this. I realize that as a married parent who may have all sorts of reasons why you HAD to split up. Just know that most likely this is what your children *hear* when you announce your divorce.

Child abuse: Is governor missing the big picture? - NH

Fosters

Excerpts:

"First of all, decades of study have shown that the children of single-parent, maternal-headed families are the most frequent victims of neglect, violence and sexual abuse. Common sense would seem to suggest that reducing the number of single-parent families would be a good place to start to reduce the number of sex crimes against children. But our feminist-indoctrinated governor refuses to endorse measures designed to support stable two-parent families. He continues to support a feminist agenda which aims at destroying the traditional family.

Lynch, since taking office, has steadfastly refused to discuss family values with local parenting groups, and refuses to endorse the concept of shared physical custody following a divorce. Clearly, he places politics over the welfare of children.

Secondly, Lynch should have made himself aware that sex offenders frequently come from fatherless homes. In promoting stable, two-parent families, we would not only be providing the immediate protection of a live-in, natural, concerned father for the children, but a role model for relational development.

The studies which demonstrate that fatherless girls are more prone to precocious, and promiscuous sexual activity are abundant. Other studies show that fatherless boys are more likely to develop inappropriate sex drives as well."

Law firm is advocate for divorcing dads - Indianapolis

Law firm is advocate for divorcing dads

Excerpts:

Joseph E. Cordell says he became a lawyer so he could represent the underdog. He ended up creating a law firm dedicated to helping men and fathers during divorce.

Based in St. Louis, Cordell & Cordell recently opened a Downtown Indianapolis office at 101 W. Ohio St.

Cordell & Cordell will present "The 10 Most Stupid Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce," a free seminar for men going through a divorce, contemplating one or wanting to modify an existing decree. Speakers will be Joseph Cordell, Scott C. Trout and Erik Carter, an attorney based in the Indianapolis office.
• When: Thursday, 6:30 to 9 p.m.
• Where: The Westin, 50 S. Capitol Ave.
• RSVP: (317) 322-0122.

How Fathers Can Win Child Custody

How Fathers Can Win Child Custody
A work in progress from IntellectualConservative.com
First draft - August 14, 2005

NOTE: This is a condensed version of a book that is being written on this subject. As the book is written, more will be added to this guide, until the book is ready for publication. Please stop back occasionally as we will be adding new material periodically, and will indicate when we do so. Since this guide is still in the process of being written, if you would like to share it with others, please give them the url instead of sending this article out in an email. Although this guide is geared to fathers, who are usually the most disadvantaged here, it can also be used to some extent by mothers who have been disadvantaged by the system. This guide is based on mostly anecdotal evidence from attorneys and others who have gone through the family court system, and should not be construed as legal advice.

(Click title above to link to article)

Update: I have to say that I don't like this article much at all. In truth, I posted it hurriedly without going over it - this was my mistake. I find some of the methods and directives as extremely questionable to say the least.

While I will not go over all the problems I see - I would certainly assert that there is a difference between an aggressive/proactive attorney and an aggressive/unscrupulous attorney. My pursuit of father's rights involves fairness for all parties - not further maligning the already fractured family court system.

As for getting an evaluator to ask the children leading questions that will reflect negatively on mom- this is wrong for a number of reasons. First, as this article would claim to present the view of a father's rights activist - it infers fathers (generally) have an abject lack of interest in to the actual best interests of their children but have a calculating desire to escape from as many child support dollars as possible. This *may* be true for some men - punishing ones soon to be ex appears to frequently occur during divorce and the perpetrator can be of either gender. However, I certainly would not call it the norm and it is not in any way the type of father that I find needing assistance within the framework of family law. Secondly, such a practice is simply devious by both the father as well as the "impartial" evaluator who is colluding with the father. Finally, as much as men howl about the manner in which protective orders are handed out (and they are distributed far too easily and with devastating consequences for those fathers falsely accused) we then should not advocate for "creative" or "leading" evaluations which will serve a similar purpose as a protective order garnered under false circumstances.

The directive Harass your ex is simply inexcusable - and I would assert pretty bad advice. First, again as much as men lament about the "harassment" they have to deal with when visitation is withheld, etc - we should not be advocating for similar tactics. Secondly, this is a person that in some capacity you will have to deal with for the remainder of your or your child’s natural like - harassing them will not help the current or long term situation. This is the parent of your child - even if they are unable to see the virtue of cooperative, joint parenting - this does not give you the right to throw this need out the window. Such a plan again ignores what is truly in the best interest of the child - having two concerned and cooperative parents. Finally, (at least in my county) a primary judicial concern when considering joint custody is whether the two parents can work together. I won't go into the constitutional issues involved in this nor how our family court system tends to breed discontent and retaliatory actions between parties - however, if you are actively harassing your ex and they can demonstrate this (and I believe there is much truth in that judges will view such behavior much more harshly when initiated by the husband) - where I live you have likely just screwed yourself out of any chance for joint custody.

And finally, this article advocates for father custody over mother custody. The responsible position is to advocate for joint custody with two cooperative parents. As demonstrated repeatedly in the research, this type of scenario is in the "best interests of the child."

I am going to leave the article up - however, for a counterpoint you can visit World O'Crap.

Reader Contributions - Attorney/Judge/Evaluator Database

I have always hoped that readers would submit the names of good/bad lawyers, good/bad judges and good/bad evaluators - along with their general location and experiences with these people (including advice, warnings, etc...).

I have received a few such emails but they were generally so hate filled and frankly frightening - that I could not in good faith post these names. However, if you can well articulate your case and what was good or lacking in these individuals - I would love to create a database of sorts. In particular, it would be wonderful to know names of lawyers who are sympathetic to fathers and will work doubly hard to make sure they have a fair day in court.

I realize many of you have not had such a *positive* experience with your lawyer so submit their name as well (along with a reasoned explanation of why you would not recommend this person) so we can help others to stay away from that particular attorney.

As for judges and evaluators, most of the time you won't have much of a choice. But I believe it is always nice to have a heads up. So any tactics that your judge or evaluator did not like or specific things they looked for in the course of your case - send in their name and the details.

And don't worry - I will keep all of your information completely anonymous! But in that vein, when describing the "happenings" of your case it is best not to include facts that you feel would directly point to either you or your case. If you have concerns about this please shoot me an email and we will try to come up with the best way to share the info without in any way implicating you directly.

A new way to treat children of divorce - NH

The Telegraph Online

Excerpts:

Divorcing couples with children will find a change of procedure in New Hampshire’s court system starting Oct. 1.

A new law aimed at making divorce less hostile allows judges to refer parents to mediation when they are unable to agree on how much time their children will spend with either mom or dad as part of broader custody issues.

The law, however, would not apply to cases where domestic violence has been an issue.

Lawyers who deal in divorces and other family issues hope the law will encourage parents to settle custody disputes themselves by setting up a plan for shared child-rearing responsibilities rather than having a judge impose a top-down solution.
It could be a less costly and quicker resolution of custody issues and a happier outcome for children who are the unhappy bystanders in a marital breakup.

The law, approved by the Legislature as part of a bill called the Parental Rights and Responsibilities Act, is the product of a task force that studied ways to reform divorce and other aspects of family law in the state.

Under the law, lawyers and others familiar with divorce proceedings hope parents, through mediation, will work cooperatively to set up visiting schedules, holiday participation, school attendance and living arrangements that best meet their kids’ needs rather than their own.

Fatherhood Coalition ousts leader - MA

North Adams Transcript - Local Headlines

As with the F4J implosion - inner strife within a movement is likely unavoidable - but is regrettable all the same.

Excerpts:

The coup took place on Wednesday night, when eight members of the fathers' rights group met and voted to eject Rinaldo Del Gallo III, said Richard Hover, who claims to be the group's new president. Hover said Del Gallo's tirades, unreliability and militant stance on the subject of fathers' rights have combined to drive members away, weakening the coalition.

But Del Gallo said the vote was attended by only three of the coalition's eight officers, and thus did not constitute a majority. In a written statement, Del Gallo said that he is the spokesman of the group, and that -- since only the spokesman has the authority to make official statements on behalf of the coalition -- it is the official position of the coalition that he is still an officer and the group's spokesman. He said Hover's statements should be disregarded.

Both Hover and Del Gallo were able to name supporters who, in interviews, bolstered their version of events, and it is difficult to tell which side is actually in control of the coalition, or whether the group has survived the coup at all.

The Fatherhood Coalition is dedicated to pursuing changes in state divorce laws that would encourage judges to grant equal custody of children to fathers and mothers. Del Gallo, an attorney specializing in patent law, has brought publicity to the group through his campaigns for shared parenting legislation, his numerous appearances at City Council meetings and his failed efforts to run for office, including an incident in which he was arrested for trespassing while gathering nomination signatures outside the post office in Pittsfield.

But Hover said the net effect of Del Gallo's involvement with the coalition has been to shrink its ranks. He said the group once numbered about 150 members and now has only eight, and the majority have been chased away by Del Gallo.

Non-Custodial Parental Rights Petition

I am not going to post the content of the petition as it is rather lengthy but you can read it as well as sign here: Non-Custodial Parental Rights

At this writing, there are 11003 signatures.